she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize