i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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