I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize