i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want to make out with him forever
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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