maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is my gift to your gina
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize