no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
