Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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