They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
