She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
