As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
