I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
