just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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