I didn't shave. On purpose
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
