Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
