i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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