If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
