Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
