Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize