watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Small penises have feelings too.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
