it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
