clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize