If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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