this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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