Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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