Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
