so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize