I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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