Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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