i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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