quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
