That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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