Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
