Can i not drive my cunt home
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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