Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
