A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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