nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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