Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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