If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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