dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
