Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
