ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
