Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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