69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
