I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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