You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
