Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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