She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
