I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Randomize
