Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
