he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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