I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
