dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
