I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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