Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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