Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
