Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
