I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just invented taco cereal.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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