ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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