she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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