why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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