Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
