mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't deserve a penis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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