that's an acceptable place to lick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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