So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
