did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
