i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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